No More Mr. Nice Guy?

 When I turned 70 I told myself - and others - that I was done sugar coating my opinion. That over the years I had worked to avoid conflict and had done my best to not engage in discussions that could escalate to a bad place. I told them and myself I would no longer do that.

Well - now that I am doing that it has gotten interesting.  I've stopped engaging on Twitter.  I only go there now (down to once a day) to see the comments and get a perspective on extreme right and left politics.  Engaging people there was futile.  Even when I thought I could have a discussion with someone see their side, present mine ... dialog... they would simply block me. It's easier to block / ignore than to discuss.  The same has happened on Facebook albeit at a slower pace.  People I used to dialog but in a very gentle manner are no longer happy with my direct response.  My responses are civil and very respectful but concise and usually site multiple articles.  Someone stated that Social Media is not a means of communication but simply and echo chamber for those who want to hear their own opinion.

Me - I like the dialog - although I need to be careful that I don't turn it into a debate.  That too is inappropriate and something I have been known to do.

So, I am still trying to be a nice guy but not one that panders to people and what I see happening is I am losing acquaintances (if you read my previous post, you know I have few to no friends).  I should not be surprised at this turn of events as for years I was the guy people could talk to and get advice from and trust that what they told me was in confidence even if they didn't ask it to be.  Where now, when asked my opinion on their perspective when I give it with compassion BUT with honesty - they are appalled.  Yep - they are dropping fast.  The bigger surprise is - it doesn't bother me.  Oh, it surprises me, I thought people were made of sterner stuff, but it doesn't bother me.  Perhaps because if they only want their view mirrored back then we are not meant to dialog.

See - I have long believed that if you cannot discuss and defend your position then you MUST review your premises for that opinion and either find the substance you need to support it OR accept you were wrong and modify your opinion.  And at minimum learn to appreciate the perspective of the other person - at minimum.

I miss those people with whom I could share a beer and talk about anything, and it does not get confrontational.  That we could exchange ideas and broaden our perspectives.  Maybe I was wrong - maybe that doesn't exist - but somehow, I think it does.  I remember reading about Antonin Scalia and RBG going at it hammer and tong over the law and constitution but also able to keep respect for the other person and see them for who they were in their entirety.   

Well, I am going to keep on my path - which really is nothing more than following DESICERATA.  Regardless of where it originates, I like what it says.  It's a decent way to live a life.
So - still a Mr. Nice Guy - just a no longer pandering Guy.

Friends and Acquaintances in Life and in Death

 In yesterday's blog "I'm Back" I mentioned areas I would cover.  Today's title gives it away that this is about Friends and Acquaintances. 

First a confession - I have no friends except my wife Linda.  That is by choice.  It may not have been a wise one over the years, in fact as I get older, I am sure it wasn't, but it was a protective measure from when I was younger.  For anyone who wants to read about my life from childhood to my marriage (I have written it up as a cathartic review). Summarized in a couple sentences:

1] Mom & dad didn't want me.

2] I protected myself from further disenfranchisement by keeping everyone at a distance.

Oh, there have been a few people who I let into my life.  My cousin Kathy who passed away a few years ago.  Other than Linda (my wife) she knew me better than anyone.  Her passing has left a hole in me.  I had wished to grow older with her.  Of course, my wife Linda, who has found out ALL about me, but it took decades to get there and on her part with much grief from me.  I love her so very much.  But beyond that I have people with whom I am friendly and perhaps even admired, but they know the me I crafted for them to know.  It is made of up relevant bits and pieces of me necessary to communicate and interact with them but never never never enough information to open myself to any chance of vulnerability. It was a protection I developed years ago that allowed me to exist within the world but have a buffer from it.  It was the construct of a child that has carried on till this day.  In fact, I don't know if I can - at this point in my life - make genuine friends.  Do I have the skill set?  Do I have the courage? Do I feel the need?

I reflect on this now because I am officially "Old".  At this time in America 70 is not the new 50 or 60 it is just old, and it gives me pause as I look ahead at my life.  How long will I live?  Another 2 years? 5? 20?

And when I die who will attend my funeral?  Certainly, no friends but will the acquaintances? 

I remember when my grandfather passed the huge number of people who truly knew him and loved him.  The same when his son (my Uncle Joe) passed, the funeral procession was long like that of a king, filled with people who genuinely mourned his passing.  People to whom he was close and felt a void at his sudden loss by heart attack.

I feel that I will have a handful at my funeral comprised of my wife (God willing she outlives me), my children (and even here I think they will come only because of a sense of obligation} -  same with some of my grandchildren.  Perhaps a couple siblings - this is a perhaps for we have not been close and that fault again lies with me.  We share a mother, but we share little history so while we are of blood we are not of family.

Admittedly - I have not been the easiest person to know.  Even my children have said so over time.  I have been stoical because of old wounds even with my children.  The first two have memories of me that even I cannot fathom from whence they come and the last two work hard to understand me.  The thing is I love them all and would do anything in my power for them. And this next line in print could get me in trouble but hey it is my blog.  While I love all 4 - I only like 3 of them.  I would be proud to call 3 of them friends but the other - is too much like my mother - and even perhaps too much like me.  I used to think that I was the way I am due to coming from a divorced abusive mother and father, dropped off to live with my grandparents who died too soon. Form moving too often with stepfathers I didn't like etc etc etc - you know the same schtick that is in the tragedy novels.  But my children had a good home and for sure SO much love from their mother.  So, I wonder if the flaw isn;t just from trauma but genetic in some way.

I digress and am becoming maudlin.  The point of this is I look ahead, and I see a lonely future and am surprisingly OK with that.  I see it as my construct, an end of my own making. Oh please don't get wrong I am not lamenting.  I like people but am still uncomfortable with intimacy (except for Linda).  Should she (God forbid) pass before I do, I would be OK having acquaintances.  I am a lone wolf who likes the pack but doesn't want to be part of the pack.  I am indeed a Lone Wolf too aloof and too used to being alone in my thoughts.

So yes - I will probably have a small funeral and few will long remember my name or miss me.  An interesting perspective from a person who when younger wanted to live forever. - but even then, it wasn't for friends but out of curiosity on how the world would change.

For a brief moment that scared me.  Not anymore. I see it now as the natural path my life had to go with its rough start, crushed opportunities as a child.  I am - in many ways surprised my life turned out as well as it has. I have a wonderful wife & friend (no one has ever had better), I have 4 lovely children and 8 grandchildren.  I have travelled more than some (but less than I desired) and have been in overall good health.  I have and have had a great life despite the terrible start.  I do think part of that is due to my intellect, but more to my learning, as a child, to survive by blending into my surroundings.  As Dr. Bob once pointed out: "You are a chameleon who reads the room and its people and can move through it blending and shading so as to fit in but never be so noticed to be threatened."
In his report on me in the 80's "You gladly play the role of 2nd in command manipulating everyone to slowly achieve whatever goal you want.  You are an odd combination - a scrupulous Machiavelli."

So, I will likely die and be forgotten with some dispatch.  That bothered me until I wrote this and now see it is the logical outcome of my life.  I am pleased though that 3 of my 4 children have developed skills from their mother to be true friends and have true friends.  I envy them.

I'm Back

 The problem with taking a hiatus when you write a blog is people who may have read it (although I am still followed by no one) may not come back to read it again.  But that is OK - I truly wrote this (write this?) for me as a means to vent - to express myself.

So now I am back and with topics that are personal, terrifying (to me), and very sad.  I will list their titles and a one sentence summary of each before I sign off for today.

TERRIFYING

Breast Lump - Have a lump in my breast that is uncomfortable and slowly growing a mammogram revealed its benign.

Surgery Left Foot - have a badly deformed bunion that should get surgery, but I would be in a boot/cast for 6 weeks and allowed no pressure on foot for that time.

SAD

Loss of Friends - In actuality acquaintances, but still as the mid-terms approach even those with whom I could have civil conversation are now moving away. Plus, those relationships I did not keep up. That I let drift away.

PERSONAL

Dying Alone - I don't believe I am near my end, but a thought has plagued me that if I did die, who would really be at the funeral? How few would attend or care.

Sweet Spot - often through my life I wondered if anyone has lived through a time when pretty much everything was splendid, then I had the epiphany that it was me!

Childhood - will finish writing that up for my children (those who are interested)

Book - now that winter approaches, and especially if I have the foot surgery, I will finish my book of short stories. So many ideas!

So - over the next few days, weeks and months more to come!

Need to Take a Hiatus

 From what? 

Hatred, bias, incivility, condescension, and an inability to discuss ideas with people without being labeled... Liberal, RINO, WOKE, Fascist, ANTIFA, elitist, homophobic, racist etc.  Everyone on both sides of the political spectrum seem anxious to place others into neat little boxes which when summed up are either the "with me" or "against me" box.  Oh, there are a few voices out there that recognize people are complex and may have multiple perspectives and be an amalgam of political views - but they are so few, so rare. 

I miss the civil but passionate exchanges between adults which, like true debates, relied not on just feelings but positions on issues and often supported by facts.  That I could debate with someone and possibly get a new and fresh perspective.

Sometimes the discussions start that way but then if it gets to a point where I have irrefutable proof their idea may be flawed, then it gets diverted to... "We just have to agree to disagree".  That position is fine if they then didn't walk away angry and in some cases we never talk again.  Or, if we are both coming from positions that cannot be reconciled because it is more feelings & belief based.  But too often lately it is that my information or data is so solid, or worse my questions so poignant, that they cannot answer them and instead of reflecting inward they instead storm away.

I used to tell my children... "If you debate someone on an issue and find you cannot reasonably defend your position / idea - then you MUST re-examine your premises because you may be wrong."  I believe my children do that; I believe I do as well... I hope I do - truly.

So I am taking a hiatus from all social media.  Let my head and spirit clear

No More Arguing

 

I will apologize to people in advance for what I am about to post here (on Facebook) and here on my blog. It's a letter I have written several times now to people who question me on various topics about how I develop my personal truths. I am posting it now for others on here that I often come at odds with regarding positions on various issues.

 

I'm going to say this even though I may alienate you, but it's my new post 70 years old attitude to be more direct versus avoiding serious confrontation.  Although I still try to follow the maxim: “Honesty without compassion is cruelty”.
I don’t feel many of you research your 'truths' well enough (in my opinion); and you are not much different in that respect than most of my friends and acquaintances. Too many say they 'heard this', 'read that' but seldom verify it before it becomes an axiom of their belief system.  They accept readily that which aligns with what they feel and decline that which threatens it.
People will say to me that they are engulfed by work, so have no time, and I get that. I too put in hours way over 50 to 60 a week when I worked and then (like them) had family and house items at night and on weekends. But I still researched for my truths... It’s the logical part of my personality.

In philosophy one law of logic is A=A; the Law of Identity.  I won’t get into the aspects of it philosophically but simplistically from Plato to Objectivism it can mean: “If something doesn’t align with itself it should be reviewed.  I use it to remind me that if the information I research does not align with my current beliefs, then I must investigate and discern if my premises are correct.  I have “A=A” tattooed on my right arm so I never lose sight of that.

I also believe that if people want something they will ALWAYS do what they want unless something they want more, or external forces prevent them. I have several friends who NEVER want their beliefs challenged MORE than they want to know the truth.  I have known some of these people since high school, or over decades of my work career.  For me, I always want to know root cause and to discern as much as I can about what is true. This means that even when my premises are challenged, and I cannot with my data refute those challenges - that I must re-think my premises.  A must equal A.

Many people ask me about my beliefs, and I do my best to provide them with the proof of my premises/truths.  I provide sources and if necessary, the multiple sources I use in my attempt to get past slanted media (both right & left) and find what is most accurate.  If I am challenged by them with evidence, I hope and pray to God, I would review it sincerely, and that I would – for the sake of seeking what is true – read it – think over it and if I could not refute it, accept it as a new truth.

one definition of reason is: the power of the mind to think, understand, and form judgments by a process of logic.  This is my process, has been my process, but I am tired of sharing it with those to whom A does not equal A.  I will continue to publish what I believe, and I will continue to answer questions to those who will actually read and review what I send (as I will theirs).  But to those who just want to argue with nothing more than their view reiterated over and over.  I won’t bother. I am done with all that. 

Excuse or Excuse?

 This is a strong opinion piece for me.  Since I turned 70 I feel more and more like that "Old Guy" who is always saying: "In my day", but this is how I feel and it is my blog so...

When I see people having issues with other people today, where they behave badly or fail in obligations, I hear excuses more than 'excuse me'.  
By definition...

[excuse]

Verb 

attempt to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offense); seek to defend or justify

or... release (someone) from a duty or requirement. OR...

said politely in various contexts, for example when attempting to get someone's attention, asking someone to move so that one may pass, or interrupting or disagreeing with a speaker.

Noun

a reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.

I've written before about a decline in civility - especially when discussing politics.  This falls within that same realm.  To me it seems more people tell you their excuse for not doing something, failing at a task, some social miscue or inappropriate action than say 'excuse me' and simply accept the responsibility and accountability AND work to change their performance to a more positive and socially acceptable format.

I feel that more and more people explain their 'reason' for an egregious action than simply take responsibility for it.  

• "I have (fill in the blank mental syndrome)"
• "I've been under stress lately."
• "I had a bad childhood"
• I come from an under privileged people."

I even see others try and find a reason and excuse for someone who has missed the mark in some respect...

• "Well, you know how they are."
• "They're just having a bad day."
• "You need to understand where they came from - what they experienced."

Now before you judge me harshly, yes, they may have a mental condition that influences their behavior, and yes, they may be having a bad day and may have come from a bad home, social situation etc.  But none of that justifies routine bad behavior or not routinely fulfilling obligations.

We ALL need to acknowledge and be sensitive to a person's reasons for an instance of bad behavior or an instance of not accomplishing a task or obligation.  We all should also be willing to support them to help them change their behavior.  But those who are routinely lazy or routinely behave badly and use their excuses to avoid changing - especially when help is offered; well, there is where I have a viewpoint that likely will be unpopular.

For example; people who 'Speak their mind' and do so in inelegant ways and use the excuse - well I am just being honest.  To me those people are just being cruel.  To me the axiom: Honesty presented without compassion is cruelty is accurate and those people should learn that while they have a right to their opinion, they need not present it rudely under the guise of "being honest".  I have noticed that those who use that approach give their 'honesty' like vinegar but want it presented to them like honey.

Thise who say they just can't seem to hold a job because they were never taught how to be responsible... well what stops them from learning now?  If your culture or family was remiss and its finally pointed out to you that you are immature or irresponsible why can't they change?  Why because people only do what they WANT TO DO unless something prevents them (see a previous post titled:  People do what they want - March 4th).

I believe that mental illness is real and crippling.  I believe that society must do more to assist those who need support for their condition, but I also feel too many people now choose to ride the EXCUSE BUS rather than apologize for their mistake(s) and work to effectively change.  It is easier for them to give you their excuse than to say 'excuse me' accept responsibility and work to be better.

As I Approach 70

Seventy!  Hmmm 50 was the ‘new 40’, 60 was the ‘new 50’ but 70… it just sems like… ugh… 70.  As I approach it, I reflect upon friends recently passed and while this is deeply saddening it was no longer alarming because we are all at or approaching 70.  I suspect if I make it to 80, I will have an even more intense revelation of mortality – mine and others.

But something else has revealed itself to me.  For much of my life I was polite, too polite [although I suspect there may be some out there who will disagree].  This probably stemmed from training in my early school years (Saints Peter & Paul parish) and at home (living with my grandparents) in a time when children should be seen but not heard and have respect for all elders.  I was and have been too polite to call people who are mean, rude, racist, biased, hateful – whatever - what they were (are).  I was trying to maintain a ‘relationship’ and not ‘rock the boat’ or ‘burn bridges’ or any of the other cliché sayings of my generation.

Perhaps I am simply a slow learner, for I have had friends and acquaintances reprimand me for my opinions and openly categorize me as a:
“Lefty Liberal”   “RINO” for those few out there who don’t know this “Republican In Name Only”
“Bleeding Heart”     “Socialist”

I will admit that while these names and others hurt, I just chuckled my way past it, tried to explain myself better to them and took their barbs because I either remembered the friend I once knew and didn’t want to lose that memory (or them); or I realized that we have more in common than we don’t and why lose a relationship over a few or one aspect?

But now at 70 all this seems wrong.  I feel like I was doing it wrong all that time.  I was being dishonest with them by not letting them know how I feel about their comments to me and even their sometimes very hateful and judgmental positions and I was being dishonest with myself.  Now I still believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion and have a right to express it.  But – as I said slow learner – I just realized I no longer need to hear it and take their labels. 

I am on a number of social media and was (am?) too often concerned with promoting my viewpoint… pontificating would be a word I would apply to myself with honest reflection.  That will cease.  As will my rebuttal of the opinion of others.  In all my attempts I have never changed one mind or heart yet; despite the number of facts and sources presented nor how impassioned my presentation. 

So, after this missive I will only post happy day to day items on social media leaving the rest for my blog which as far as I can discern only, I read.  It serves as an emotional outlet for me when what I perceive, as the injustices of the world get too much for me and I need a release.

To those who I perceive as biased or haters… you don’t need to know that from me.  It wouldn’t change you.  I will just stop following and quietly leave you alone.  I am chuckling now as I write this because its very likely you will not miss me.

The one thing that will be different is how I will react should we meet in public.  Should you vocalize a viewpoint with which I take exception; where before to prevent myself or others from being uncomfortable; I would try and divert the discussion or make a joke, that is no longer the case.  So, on this please be forewarned.  I am 70 now and no longer feel obliged to tolerate fools, or bigots.

Where Can I Find Decency

 Its hard to define decency.  Even the definition is open to interpretation...

I mean depending upon the time, culture etc. decency can be a wide-open term.  So when I go to look for it I need to define what I think it is.  So I thought about it and came up with this simple statement... 
'To do whatever you want as long as it does not inflict harm to others.  Don't mind what others do if it does not inflict harm to you or others.'

I thought about this in terms of the Code of Bushido and it seemed to align.  For those who do not know Bushido the code is simple:

1. Rectitude and Justice. The Bushido code links rectitude with the act of making honest pacts with people and fulfilling them.
2. Courage. Courage basically means being willing to take risks to get what you want. ...
3. Compassion. ... Love, affection for others, sympathy and a strength of mind and character towards other people.
4. Politeness. ... Respect to & for others
5. Honor: A Fundamental Part of the Bushido Code. Display and practice humility and your word is your bond.
6. Honesty / Sincerity. Your word should be taken as a sign of truthfulness.  This is absolute.
7. Duty and Loyalty. To family first and to any to whom you give your bond.

I find myself (of late) caught up in the world's hatred and bitterness.  I need to regain my code of bushido and look for those who are decent (as I defined above).

I thought at one time it was in the church, and while I find the teachings of many religions to be decent; it is difficult to find those who follow them to consistently be decent.

It certainly is not within politics...  So for now I need to cultivate it within myself and keep looking.  Hopefully not like Don Quixote. 

Friends Lost

 I was informed today a man I had worked with, shared beers and confidences with and who was as smart and funny as anyone I have known, passed today.  I am - understandably upset, and sad, and even angry.  Angry at myself for not trying harder to stay in touch - to reach out.  Yes, I called him and left voice mails, sent him emails, texts and even direct messaged him on FB.  He didn't respond.  But I could have dropped by his home, I could have stopped into work to say hello.  But I didn't.  I am retired and somehow remarkably busy, so I suppose I could use that excuse.  But it is only an excuse.

So here I sit writing this post to myself and chastising myself for not doing more.  I tell people all the time that "If you really want something you do it unless something stops you or something more important to you interferes."  Those words are hitting me hard right now as I lament about the loss of a dear man who not only worked for me, with me, beside me - but who always had my back and maintained confidences until his last day.  A man of loyalty and hard work great humor and who was - well quirky.

I miss him, and I will never have the chance again to reminisce with him, talk politics (office and US) and share inside jokes of times we spent together.  I have missed that opportunity thinking... Well tomorrow.  Now there are no more tomorrows.

I never mention names of people I know on my posts; I feel it is a betrayal of privacy.  But with this dear man's passing I am encouraged to look at those people in my life that I regard and love and not think.... Tomorrow,,, and instead act today and often to remind them I know who they are, and am there for them should they ever want a listening ear, or shoulder to lean on etc.

I hope for my sake - much more than for them - that I can keep and maintain that thought and action, so should someone I know pass again that I lament their loss but never again lament that I didn't stay in touch.

Losing Friends

 What has happened to so many of us that we can no longer discuss differing views and still remember that the majority of what we believe is the same.  I had a text exchange with a friend (well hope they still are) regarding a movie... "2000 Mules".  They asked if I had seen it and I responded yes.  In turn I asked what they thought about it and got this list:

When I saw videos of them bringing in boxes and boxes of "mail-in ballots" in the fall of 2020 I knew several things were true.  1. The election was stolen (to be fair Trump helped), 2. We could never prove it, 3. There would be a lot of pointless studies of areas where there was no fraud (see illusionist skills in Wikipedia, as in "look at my other hand while this hand steals your watch"), 4. the discussions of the above would be tantamount to religious zealotry, meaning I would never join in because of my principles, 5.  If we don't correct this voter fraud vector (mail-in ballots) we Will Lose our Freedom.  6. I don't have a clue what can be done to fix this.

I responded with my perspective by addressing each point.  Innone I wanted to define what was meant by stolen and in four of the six I presented an opposing view while, then totally agreeing with his 3rd point, but before I could finish, they got upset and stated we were "DONE".  I was concerned at first, they meant in every way - but they followed up: "with this topic" which appeared to be an afterthought.

Since then, we have had only one text exchange and it was superficial stuff, what people talk about to maintain only the thinnest of connections.  So - are we as a people (and my friend and I) now to a point where we can no longer dialog?  Debate is what should allow us to grow and become more exposed and enlightened.  

I fear I am losing a friend.  That what used to be scintillating discussion and dialog is now reduced to the mundane.  So maybe they aren't lost to me in presence but in mind and spirit.

I fear I have lost my friend - that we can't disagree and discuss at a mature level.

I remember Antonin Scalia and Ruth Bader-Ginsberg having fierce opposing views on the court with vigorous arguments, but then being able to remain friends in their understanding that they loved a majority of the same things in life...  Family, Art, Music, the Constitution, this country.  That while they did disagree on some key aspects, they shared a common goal - to seek the best for this country.  They recognized that their debates and disagreements - presented respectfully and civilly - were the backbone of democracy.

I fear I have lost my friend to the newly accepted view that a disagreement on any one or few topics means that you are opposed to all, that you are they enemy.

I fear too many Americans have lost their friend in this same manner.  If we only associate with those who hold our precise views then don't we lose our broad perspective and respect for others?  If we only talk to 'like minds' how do we develop compassion and understanding for those of differing views.  To want to understand another person's perspective doesn't mean you must agree with it but in understanding it and why THEY believe it should broaden your thinking and either allow you to change your view OR provide you a clarity on why your view should remain.

We must not become so rigid that we cannot change - will not change - even if faced with plausible opposing information.

What I Believe

Hello Y'all!

Over the last several weeks I have had a number of discussions about "What I Believe", with my liberal friends and my conservative friends (yes, I have both - at least so far).

Here are some of the questions I have been asked about and discussed sometimes in vast detail.  I put them in relative order based upon how long (written email & text & DM) and involved the discussions were and/or frequency of being asked about this topic.  Some of the topics have associated items underneath them...

1. What is - Patriotism to you?
2. Are we losing our Freedoms (Usually the first 2 amendments)?
   Media Bias
      Right vs Left
      Restricting Freedom of Speech
3. Capitalism vs Socialism vs Communism 
   Are we becoming a Socialist country?
   What about the New World Order?
4. Do you think there is Racism & Prejudice in America?
   BLM
   Defunding Police
5. What is your view on Sexuality?
   LGBTQ+
   Transgender
      (In general, and of course now in sports)
6. What is your view on Abortion?
7. Do you think Education is destroying America?
   (My favorite item here is the latest on 'furries' in school)
8. Parental Rights
   as it pertains to # 5 & #7
9. Politics and Politicians
   Republican vs Democrat usually 
   Conservative vs Liberal - Which is usually associated with (you guessed it) Rep & Dem
   Corruption and 'draining the swamp'
     - Bribes, Drugs and Human Trafficking
10. Voting
    Is it fraudulent?
      Did Trump really win or lose?
    Voter ID
    Voter Restriction
11. Finally... What do you think of "Q"

I am posting this on Facebook and in my blog (noparadigms.org) so going forward I don't have to repeat myself over and over.  That I can just say when asked... "hey {so & so}, I posted it on FB and its also on my blog.  Now I will be candid, I am doing this for my own benefit and laziness.

So over the next few weeks If you see a post by the title of the items above you can read it or ignore it.

And as an aside - totally unrelated to the above.  Many have asked why I shaved my beard.  Motivation.  I have gained WAY too much weight and you can trim a beard to make your face look thinner and delude yourself into thinking: "Hey, I'm not that bad!"  But a shaved fat face is not easy to hide and (for me) a great motivation to actually diet and exercise.

 The Simple Rules of My Blog

1] Only one blog. There is only one me so only one blog.  It will be multi-faceted to obviously the same degree I am multifaceted.  The areas covered will be mostly but not exclusively:

   > Short Stories

   > Memories - Snippets from my life I wanted or needed to write down

   >Perspectives - I may share these on occasions via varied media

   > Journal - Contains what I feel on any given day to diet & exercise lies I tell myself at that moment.

2] From this point forward each post will have one word defining its area, followed by a title, that hopefully will explain / summarize the post.  This will help me (and anyone else interested) in narrowing down a search.

3] Should anyone ever read this and contact me (regardless of how kind or unkind) I will do my very best to respond to them.

4] I will endeavor at all times to be respectful, and courteous as I believe many of our woes today are due to these diminished within our society.

Comments: 

As those who read this may see I have been on Blogger since 2015 but my first post was not until 2021. That was almost exclusively due to lack of direction, and no focus upon what I wanted to express and resultant self-humiliation at what I did post.  Even after I retired in June of 2020, it took me over a year to realize that I wanted a forum not for others to read and be impressed but to record my life's next chapter within the elements and areas cited in Rule 1 above.

Should anyone be reading this... thank you for taking the time.