No More Mr. Nice Guy?

 When I turned 70 I told myself - and others - that I was done sugar coating my opinion. That over the years I had worked to avoid conflict and had done my best to not engage in discussions that could escalate to a bad place. I told them and myself I would no longer do that.

Well - now that I am doing that it has gotten interesting.  I've stopped engaging on Twitter.  I only go there now (down to once a day) to see the comments and get a perspective on extreme right and left politics.  Engaging people there was futile.  Even when I thought I could have a discussion with someone see their side, present mine ... dialog... they would simply block me. It's easier to block / ignore than to discuss.  The same has happened on Facebook albeit at a slower pace.  People I used to dialog but in a very gentle manner are no longer happy with my direct response.  My responses are civil and very respectful but concise and usually site multiple articles.  Someone stated that Social Media is not a means of communication but simply and echo chamber for those who want to hear their own opinion.

Me - I like the dialog - although I need to be careful that I don't turn it into a debate.  That too is inappropriate and something I have been known to do.

So, I am still trying to be a nice guy but not one that panders to people and what I see happening is I am losing acquaintances (if you read my previous post, you know I have few to no friends).  I should not be surprised at this turn of events as for years I was the guy people could talk to and get advice from and trust that what they told me was in confidence even if they didn't ask it to be.  Where now, when asked my opinion on their perspective when I give it with compassion BUT with honesty - they are appalled.  Yep - they are dropping fast.  The bigger surprise is - it doesn't bother me.  Oh, it surprises me, I thought people were made of sterner stuff, but it doesn't bother me.  Perhaps because if they only want their view mirrored back then we are not meant to dialog.

See - I have long believed that if you cannot discuss and defend your position then you MUST review your premises for that opinion and either find the substance you need to support it OR accept you were wrong and modify your opinion.  And at minimum learn to appreciate the perspective of the other person - at minimum.

I miss those people with whom I could share a beer and talk about anything, and it does not get confrontational.  That we could exchange ideas and broaden our perspectives.  Maybe I was wrong - maybe that doesn't exist - but somehow, I think it does.  I remember reading about Antonin Scalia and RBG going at it hammer and tong over the law and constitution but also able to keep respect for the other person and see them for who they were in their entirety.   

Well, I am going to keep on my path - which really is nothing more than following DESICERATA.  Regardless of where it originates, I like what it says.  It's a decent way to live a life.
So - still a Mr. Nice Guy - just a no longer pandering Guy.