Excuse or Excuse?

 This is a strong opinion piece for me.  Since I turned 70 I feel more and more like that "Old Guy" who is always saying: "In my day", but this is how I feel and it is my blog so...

When I see people having issues with other people today, where they behave badly or fail in obligations, I hear excuses more than 'excuse me'.  
By definition...

[excuse]

Verb 

attempt to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offense); seek to defend or justify

or... release (someone) from a duty or requirement. OR...

said politely in various contexts, for example when attempting to get someone's attention, asking someone to move so that one may pass, or interrupting or disagreeing with a speaker.

Noun

a reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.

I've written before about a decline in civility - especially when discussing politics.  This falls within that same realm.  To me it seems more people tell you their excuse for not doing something, failing at a task, some social miscue or inappropriate action than say 'excuse me' and simply accept the responsibility and accountability AND work to change their performance to a more positive and socially acceptable format.

I feel that more and more people explain their 'reason' for an egregious action than simply take responsibility for it.  

• "I have (fill in the blank mental syndrome)"
• "I've been under stress lately."
• "I had a bad childhood"
• I come from an under privileged people."

I even see others try and find a reason and excuse for someone who has missed the mark in some respect...

• "Well, you know how they are."
• "They're just having a bad day."
• "You need to understand where they came from - what they experienced."

Now before you judge me harshly, yes, they may have a mental condition that influences their behavior, and yes, they may be having a bad day and may have come from a bad home, social situation etc.  But none of that justifies routine bad behavior or not routinely fulfilling obligations.

We ALL need to acknowledge and be sensitive to a person's reasons for an instance of bad behavior or an instance of not accomplishing a task or obligation.  We all should also be willing to support them to help them change their behavior.  But those who are routinely lazy or routinely behave badly and use their excuses to avoid changing - especially when help is offered; well, there is where I have a viewpoint that likely will be unpopular.

For example; people who 'Speak their mind' and do so in inelegant ways and use the excuse - well I am just being honest.  To me those people are just being cruel.  To me the axiom: Honesty presented without compassion is cruelty is accurate and those people should learn that while they have a right to their opinion, they need not present it rudely under the guise of "being honest".  I have noticed that those who use that approach give their 'honesty' like vinegar but want it presented to them like honey.

Thise who say they just can't seem to hold a job because they were never taught how to be responsible... well what stops them from learning now?  If your culture or family was remiss and its finally pointed out to you that you are immature or irresponsible why can't they change?  Why because people only do what they WANT TO DO unless something prevents them (see a previous post titled:  People do what they want - March 4th).

I believe that mental illness is real and crippling.  I believe that society must do more to assist those who need support for their condition, but I also feel too many people now choose to ride the EXCUSE BUS rather than apologize for their mistake(s) and work to effectively change.  It is easier for them to give you their excuse than to say 'excuse me' accept responsibility and work to be better.