Losing Friends

 What has happened to so many of us that we can no longer discuss differing views and still remember that the majority of what we believe is the same.  I had a text exchange with a friend (well hope they still are) regarding a movie... "2000 Mules".  They asked if I had seen it and I responded yes.  In turn I asked what they thought about it and got this list:

When I saw videos of them bringing in boxes and boxes of "mail-in ballots" in the fall of 2020 I knew several things were true.  1. The election was stolen (to be fair Trump helped), 2. We could never prove it, 3. There would be a lot of pointless studies of areas where there was no fraud (see illusionist skills in Wikipedia, as in "look at my other hand while this hand steals your watch"), 4. the discussions of the above would be tantamount to religious zealotry, meaning I would never join in because of my principles, 5.  If we don't correct this voter fraud vector (mail-in ballots) we Will Lose our Freedom.  6. I don't have a clue what can be done to fix this.

I responded with my perspective by addressing each point.  Innone I wanted to define what was meant by stolen and in four of the six I presented an opposing view while, then totally agreeing with his 3rd point, but before I could finish, they got upset and stated we were "DONE".  I was concerned at first, they meant in every way - but they followed up: "with this topic" which appeared to be an afterthought.

Since then, we have had only one text exchange and it was superficial stuff, what people talk about to maintain only the thinnest of connections.  So - are we as a people (and my friend and I) now to a point where we can no longer dialog?  Debate is what should allow us to grow and become more exposed and enlightened.  

I fear I am losing a friend.  That what used to be scintillating discussion and dialog is now reduced to the mundane.  So maybe they aren't lost to me in presence but in mind and spirit.

I fear I have lost my friend - that we can't disagree and discuss at a mature level.

I remember Antonin Scalia and Ruth Bader-Ginsberg having fierce opposing views on the court with vigorous arguments, but then being able to remain friends in their understanding that they loved a majority of the same things in life...  Family, Art, Music, the Constitution, this country.  That while they did disagree on some key aspects, they shared a common goal - to seek the best for this country.  They recognized that their debates and disagreements - presented respectfully and civilly - were the backbone of democracy.

I fear I have lost my friend to the newly accepted view that a disagreement on any one or few topics means that you are opposed to all, that you are they enemy.

I fear too many Americans have lost their friend in this same manner.  If we only associate with those who hold our precise views then don't we lose our broad perspective and respect for others?  If we only talk to 'like minds' how do we develop compassion and understanding for those of differing views.  To want to understand another person's perspective doesn't mean you must agree with it but in understanding it and why THEY believe it should broaden your thinking and either allow you to change your view OR provide you a clarity on why your view should remain.

We must not become so rigid that we cannot change - will not change - even if faced with plausible opposing information.