Friends Lost

 I was informed today a man I had worked with, shared beers and confidences with and who was as smart and funny as anyone I have known, passed today.  I am - understandably upset, and sad, and even angry.  Angry at myself for not trying harder to stay in touch - to reach out.  Yes, I called him and left voice mails, sent him emails, texts and even direct messaged him on FB.  He didn't respond.  But I could have dropped by his home, I could have stopped into work to say hello.  But I didn't.  I am retired and somehow remarkably busy, so I suppose I could use that excuse.  But it is only an excuse.

So here I sit writing this post to myself and chastising myself for not doing more.  I tell people all the time that "If you really want something you do it unless something stops you or something more important to you interferes."  Those words are hitting me hard right now as I lament about the loss of a dear man who not only worked for me, with me, beside me - but who always had my back and maintained confidences until his last day.  A man of loyalty and hard work great humor and who was - well quirky.

I miss him, and I will never have the chance again to reminisce with him, talk politics (office and US) and share inside jokes of times we spent together.  I have missed that opportunity thinking... Well tomorrow.  Now there are no more tomorrows.

I never mention names of people I know on my posts; I feel it is a betrayal of privacy.  But with this dear man's passing I am encouraged to look at those people in my life that I regard and love and not think.... Tomorrow,,, and instead act today and often to remind them I know who they are, and am there for them should they ever want a listening ear, or shoulder to lean on etc.

I hope for my sake - much more than for them - that I can keep and maintain that thought and action, so should someone I know pass again that I lament their loss but never again lament that I didn't stay in touch.