No Paradigms

 Perspective

Friendships should offer mutual values.

I mentioned previously my dilemma with friends who now have a very different perspective on race, gender, etc. than I do.  Now I don't want to dismiss them from my life, but it seems false to just make small talk just to keep them as 'friends' on some imaginary roster.  That was made more relevant to me yesterday when my old HS friend sent me a text about a medication he'd seen on TV and how it might help Linda.  I was travelling at the time and used the car's voice prompts to respond with 'YES' and 'THANK YOU'.  His responses seemed terse, and I was concerned he might have misinterpreted my auto responses as terse and so later I sent an explanation of why I was terse and invited him to talk should he be so inclined.  Then - nothing.  In my opinion, a friendship should have some value to it other than to say... "I have this friend".  Friendships should have mutual value... not necessarily the same values to each person but that each feels they have a reason to have this friend.  I have friends I see and know for fun, for support, from work, from cigars.  I have some that encompass most if not all of those.  I have some that I maintain via social media for the value of memories, and we still share common ground on issues.  But I have no friends - with perhaps this one - that I keep but am not sure why.  That is not fair to either of us.  Granted distance separates us (lol age doesn't help), but there are so many ways to communicate, and I feel I have been the one to predominantly initiate that communication and respond more completely.  I think I am at the point where I need to put all this into writing to him.  Yes, today I need to do that.  I will likely write it - wait - read it and re-write it to ensure what I say is respectful but conveys my feelings and concerns.  I fear I will lose this friend - not because his political and social views are so far from my own but because there seems to be a competition between us, and I cannot honestly say if it is just him, just me, or both of us.  While I think competition is often good this one seems a bit sour to me, so for my sake and his I will write my letter and see where it leads.  I will post it here for any who read it leaving their name out for privacy and courtesy.